Horror/Zombies – Starring Michelle Ryan, Georgia King, Honor Blackman, Alan Ford, Harry Treadaway, Richard Briers, Tony Gardner, Rasmus Hardiker, Ashley Bashy Thomas, Jack Doolan. Written by James Moran and Lucas Roche. Directed by Matthias Hoene (2012)
Cockney brothers, Andy and Terry Macguire put together a gang to rob a bank. Their intention … to steal enough money to save their grandad Ray’s care home from closing at the hands of Heartman Construction and being turned into luxury flats. Having scooped a hefty 2.5 million of Heartman Construction’s money at the bank, the gang find themselves under siege from zombies and embark on a mission to rescue their grandad from the care home.
The true baddies of Cockneys vs Zombies are Heartman Construction. Not only are they responsible for tearing down parts of the East End to make way for ‘Luxurious Living in the Heart Of East London’, it’s the greed of two construction workers that lead to the outbreak of zombies that rampage through the iconic location. Our unlikely heroes are a motley crew of bank robbers led by brothers Andy (Harry Treadaway) and Terry (Rasmus Hardiker), with their fiery, street wise cousin Katy (Michelle Ryan), the incompetent Davey Tuppence (Jack Doolan) and hardcase Mental Mickey (Ashely Bashy Thomas) making up the numbers.
Cockneys vs Zombies is good shoot ‘em up entertainment, no more no less. It’s full of colourful characters, including kick ass old folk, and ditsy Emma (Georgia King) and Jobs Worth Clive (Tony Gardner), the hostages. For me, the stand outs are East End veterans Ray Macguire (Alan Ford), Peggy (Honor Blackman) and Hamish (Richard Briers) who all enjoy a nice bit of zombie blasting more than their afternoon knees up around the old Joanna.
One of my favourite moments sees British institution, Richard Briers hobbling away from the slow, awkward zombies on his walking frame, mumbling, ‘Zombies! Oh no. Oh! Get out of it!’ What makes this piece of comedy genius even better is the contrast of the slow chase with dramatic action music. There are some lovely, original ideas in the movie that I won’t give away, though the plot itself isn’t particularly ground breaking. Cockneys vs Zombies needs to be viewed as a bit of fun and, in that way, any flaws are easily forgiven. The balance between humour and action is good, though not a patch on 2004’s Shaun of the Dead, and there are some great lines, most of which come from Alan Ford as Ray, ‘You’re about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike’.
The movie lacks tension and scares, focusing more on humour and gore. But overall, I enjoyed the film. And if there is one thing I have learned, in a zombie apocalypse, get behind the Cockney pensioner with the gun.
Rating:- 4 out of 5
By Lisa Richardson